Somewhere in my life journey, in 2014, I
decided to register a company in Indonesia. But this company was not born in
2014. I can’t really put my finger on any particular moment when this company
was truly born.
For 20 years, I have made some decent money
working all over the world. I have saved enough to move to Australia and bought
my family and I a beautiful home in Healesville. I was in my own fairy-tale
world, fresh from a soul-stirring experience in Findhorn Foundation in
Scotland. I was trying to create a self-sustaining home, thinking about rain
water harvesting and hoping to create a productive garden. I was trying to
figure out how to generate free-energy a-la Nicola Tesla and was eager to learn
how to make my own Tofu. Along this line came a strong desire to find a true
meaning for my life, something I can not find while working as a corporate work
horse.
As a part of this quest grew a wish to
understand the country I was born in, Indonesia. After many years working in a
foreign country trying to get by in cultures and languages I hardly understood,
I longed for a place where I have all the advantages. I realized then that
Indonesia is the only place in the world for it; I speak the language, I grew
up there. I gradually but passionately wanted to learn about my ancestors and
their stories. I decided to write a book about them, while frequently
expressing my wish to know more about Indonesia.
The universe heard me, and granted my wish.
The opportunity came to apply my experience in logistics in Indonesia and set
up the business. It was simply a current in the river that was building up from
long before. It matters not that I have just moved my family to Melbourne. It
matters not that I was throwing my own savings to a great unknown of Indonesia
at the age of 42. Any logic would have told me to stop, but I was just drawn
into it.
Much has happened over the last 3.5 years,
pains and gains, smiles and frowns. They are not like waves in the sea where
ups and downs happened sequentially. Instead, it is like a spot in the unknown
forest where beauty and the beasts co-exist at the same time. None of the rides
I took in the past has been this intense, exhausting and exhilarating at the
same time. None of my rides in the past have given me strong assurances while
throwing in new doubts at the same time. On many less-aware moments, I would
curse the pain I had to endure and succumb to the doubts and anger. On my
most-aware moments I realize that this is a journey I am supposed to take, a
song I am supposed to sing, a painting I am supposed to create. My life purpose is where I am now,
created by my every breath.
I realize now that pain is only my emotional
or physical reaction to the bumps on my journey. When I was upset by someone or
something at work, I was merely not ready for the sharp turns and the rough
currents. When my heart hurts, my head aches and my sleep disturbed by the
events on my work, it was just me trying to figure out how to navigate the
river.
But I also realize that this river and me are
one. It is a reality created by my own desires and perceptions. I am not a
subject nor an object of the story, I am the story, and it is up to me.
